Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me that trouble of liking them.Jane Austen

I thought I told you to wait in the car.
Tallulah Bankhead, on seeing a former lover for the first time in years

If I can't have too many truffles, I'll do without truffles.Collette

No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.Mignon McLaughlin

It doesn't make any difference what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the street and frighten the horses.
Mrs. Patrick Campbell

Being an old maid is like death by drowning, a really delightful sensation after you cease to struggle.Edna Ferber

The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
Virginia Woolf

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.Rita Rudner

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Dorothy Parker

Not only have women been successful in entering fields in which men are supposed to have a more natural aptitude, but they have created entirely new businesses.
Lucretia P. Hunter, ``The Girl Today, The Woman Tomorrow'', 1932

Living in a vacuum sucks.Adrienne Gusoff

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
Virginia Woolf

In New York City, one suicide in ten is attributed to a lack of storage space.
Judith Stone